When in the US, Do as the Americans Do?

When in the US, Do as the Americans Do?

We know how hard it is for people to move to a new country, but the US isn’t known as a country of immigrants for no reason. It’s okay if you get nervous.

Going to the U.S. and Adjusting to American Culture

Yes, we stole that line from “when in Rome, do as the Romans do” as the cliche goes. When you go to a foreign country, you would respect the culture of the people there and mimic what they do. Sounds simple enough? The theory might, but bringing it into action is not as easy as it sounds. It’s especially difficult in a country like the U.S. where people from all sorts of backgrounds and nationalities gather, and we don’t really have a one size fits all type of a concept.

You may be wondering how acceptable is it to mix in a bit of Bangkok into Rome? (Or shall we say “Shanghai into New York” as for this matter).

You’re at the right article. That’s why we’re here. Read on.

1. It’s Okay to Be Not Okay

If you’ve been living based on ethical values of your home country throughout your life, we wouldn’t be surprised that the way you think could vary significantly from the way we do. You can do your best to adjust to think like an American, but that’s not a process that instantly happens the moment you first fly into JFK or LAX.

When your parents and teachers told you all your life to never talk to strangers because doing so is rude or dangerous, then you might find it unusual that Americans start conversations with complete strangers. You would perhaps start off being hesitant to talk with someone you don’t know. You could perhaps head the other direction and begin small talks with all the right and wrong people on all the right and wrong topics.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you’ve been brought up learning to have extensive conversations even more so than an average American would, you may start feeling sad that people are constantly trying to cut you off when you have so much more to say.

What’s considered rude in your home country isn’t necessarily so here in the US, and what’s perfectly acceptable back home may raise an eyebrow here. It’s no surprise that you would feel hesitant to do something that you thought was wrong even when everyone else tells you that it’s okay. Don’t fret. You’re only beginning to adapt to a new environment, so trust us when we say that you will eventually get used to the crazy American values you may think we all have.

2. You’ve Understood the Concept but Went a Bit Too Far

Ah, amazing America. We get rumored so much and you took them all way too seriously.

You’ve heard that Americans love to debate and you try your best to argue on the oddest of the subject.

Someone who came back from the US tells you that Americans sue for everything and then you wonder if it’s okay to sue your neighbor because the baby is crying at 3 in the morning.

Your teacher tells you to smile a lot in the US, and you couldn’t figure out why the person sitting next to you on the bus looked the other way when you gave them a nice 10 second smile.

You learn that Americans love their personal space and refused to give your host family a hug.

Get this. We’re not jerks. Well, some of us might be, but we would like to think that our population consists of a lot more decent and loving people than the jerks. It’s completely understandable that it takes courage to do something you’re not used to. You’ll make some mistakes here and there, but you’ll be able to laugh your embarrassing stories off in a few years. Making mistakes is part of the learning process, and having a few awkward moments every now and then is no exception. In the time being, observe how others around you are acting and then you’ll begin to get a sense of American values until you develop your own American personality. “Fake it till you make it” as we say it.

3. Taking Time to Adapt is Okay; Going Against it is Not

It could take you years to get used to some of the American culture — or any different culture as for that matter. It’s okay to take your time as you try to settle in. With the U.S. having the highest immigrant population in the world, Americans are used to being around people from various backgrounds. That’s especially true in major cities across the nation, so don’t panic if you feel like you’re doing something a little differently from others.

With different histories, traditions, cultures, and ways of thinking between countries, it’s not surprising if you think some of the things we do here in the U.S. is unusual, but by no means should you attempt to enforce your values to other Americans. Don’t get us wrong. Speaking about and sharing your traditions is perfectly acceptable and appreciated by many of us here. Once you get in the game of “which one is better” and try to tell others how the American culture is inferior to yours, then expect the debate to heat up pretty quickly. Just as you wouldn’t want to hear that the American way of doing things is better so everyone should change it in your country, nobody here wants to hear that either. Some of the things abroad such as human rights issues can be plain utterly wrong, and such problems may be worth demeaning and fighting against. But if it’s simply a variation of culture, then it’s only a difference and not a matter of superiority.

At the same time, you should be respectful of the people who are trying to or have adapted the American culture. They’re in no way intending to offend or discard their own culture, but they’re in the midst of transitioning into a place that’s more relevant to them at the given moment. Sure, they might begin lying on the grass at the park when it’s considered filthy in your country, they might start talking on their phones on the train when it’s ill-mannered in your country, they might start parenting in a way you could have never imagined, but relax. They’re in America and aren’t attempting to make you do it in your country. If anything, give them credit for all their efforts while living in a country they’ve never lived in.

4. Know the Basics Before Coming to the US

It’s okay to have those awkward moments from time to time, but at the same time, you want to avoid offending people or crossing legal boundaries.

For standard expectations like tipping, there are no grace periods for you to adjust. It really doesn’t matter what the tipping rules are back home because if you leave anything below 18% of the bill (before taxes) here, you are implying that the service was poor. Equally, coming from a country where there’s no sales tax and trying to avoid paying it by saying “we don’t pay taxes back home” would get you in some trouble. You need to expect to pay at least an 18% plus applicable taxes (which varies by location within the U.S.) before ordering, and if you don’t feel comfortable paying that price, you need to dine at a place where you would feel comfortable paying the price for.

Drinking age in the U.S. is 21, and bars and clubs will deny you entry without a valid ID proving that you are over 21. With very few exceptions nationwide, you cannot drink alcoholic beverages in public. The American police forces across the nation strictly enforce alcohol related laws, and these are the types of things you won’t get away by implying that you didn’t know because you just came to the U.S.

Other restrictions such as being able to carry a gun without a license varies significantly by the state you are in. Also, the way you can carry (concealed or open-carry) depends on the state too, so just because you hear some information from someone in a particular state, don’t assume those rules will apply once you cross the state border.

Standards and regulations don’t reserve much room for ambiguity, so do the research and ask around when you can’t find an answer.